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I thought I would take this moment to update you on my battle against inflation.

As you know, I鈥檓 driving 55 miles per hour and, thanks to my short commute, I am annoying very few people, and my mileage is now at 39.1 mpg and climbing. So, I count that as a win 鈥� and yesterday I decided to take the next step and start couponing.

I went to a grocery store and discovered that I could get a half gallon of 1% milk for 87 cents 鈥� all I had to do was click on the QR code in the display case. So, I got the milk, and a few other things, but when I got to the check stand, the checker 鈥� who was very helpful 鈥� took one look at my phone and said, “that QR code just takes you to the website 鈥� it鈥檚 much better if you download the app.” Well, by the time I found the app, a line was forming, so I stepped aside to set up the app, and suddenly all sorts of Digital Deals appear! Jackpot!

But to get the Digital Deals, I have to look up everything I bought. Now, if you could just aim the iPhone at the basket and have it automatically scan for Digital Deals, that would be great, but the app doesn鈥檛 do that.

So, I had to look up the 1% milk coupon, and then I THOUGHT I saw a coupon for my frozen pie crust, so the checker 鈥� God bless that man 鈥� had to go back to the pie crust aisle to see if the Digital Deal applied. It was all WAY more complicated than I expected.

Anyway, I finally paid and left with my discounts, but the whole thing was so distracting it wasn鈥檛 until I got home that I realized something was missing. I was missing the Kosher Deli roasted chicken! It was on my receipt, but not in the bag. I鈥檓 guessing it ended up abandoned at the checkout in all the digital confusion.

So the final tally on my inflation-fighting coupon trip was as follows: total bill, $48.41, coupon savings, $5.92 鈥� minus the abandoned Deli Chicken, which cost $9.99, which meant I saved nothing and actually squandered $4.07.

鈥淒ave, why didn鈥檛 you go back and claim the chicken?鈥�

Because to drive back would have been a waste of gas and time.

I鈥檓 just hoping that someone explains to management that trying to manipulate a cell phone, a credit card, frozen pie crusts, and a hot dead chicken is a job for an octopus, not a human being 鈥�

By the way, I had my optional mask ON during the whole episode, and I鈥檓 glad I did for reasons having nothing to do with COVID.

Listen to Seattle鈥檚 Morning News with Dave Ross and Colleen O鈥橞rien weekday mornings from 5 鈥� 9 a.m. on 成人X站 Newsradio, 97.3 FM. Subscribe to the聽podcast here.