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Congratulations to NASA on the . And for equipping the rover with the first-ever Martian drone.

This means Martians qualify for Amazon Prime! – If they exist, which of course is what we aim to find out.

Geologists figure if there is any life, it would be in that dry lake bed where the rover landed. But my question is: What if it’s a life form we don’t recognize – which moves very slowly and may measure its existence in centuries? It may look like nothing more than a string of inert molecules to us, when in fact it is a highly-advanced microscopic civilization.

Which is why the next step is to get the samples back to Earth. And before the conspiracy theories start – one of the scientists on the mission assured me that the samples will be confined to state-of-the-art leakproof labs to prevent any chance of something contagious escaping.

I doubt there is any SENTIENT life on Mars, though. And if there is, considering that 12 Earth-based UFOs have landed since 1976, any sentient miniature Martians must be terrified by now.

I mean, how long can the Martian pentagon cover this up?

So, Martians – if you’re listening, we come in peace. We’re just going to dig into your planet and see if you exist. Don’t worry, we have a long history of exploration and discovery, and have developed an enlightened civilization that believes in knowledge for its own sake.

Although we are having some trouble keeping the power on at the moment.

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