成人X站

One of the great things about being the oldest employee in the newsroom is that, after a while, every story has a familiar ring to it. Especially stories about the stock market鈥�

I鈥檓 sure stocks will recover — they always do — but seeing that 4-digit drop yesterday, it was time to dig out this timeless track from my 1997 Album 鈥淣ews In The Key of C,鈥� a sad ballad that鈥檚 as true now as it was 25 years ago:

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STOCKS IN LOW PLACES

Not long ago, I saw the Dow Jones and said:

鈥淚 gotta buy me some o鈥� that!鈥�

Cause people with brains

Know capital gains

Is the place where the smart money鈥檚 at.

So I called up my broker and said, 鈥淟et鈥檚 play poker鈥�

He said, 鈥滺ow much will you bet?鈥�

Well, ya mustn鈥檛 think small, so I said, 鈥淏et it all!鈥�

And look at the thanks that I get!

Yeah, I got stocks in low places

And with each new drop, the Dow erases

My gains away 鈥�

Goodbye, 401-K!

No, I can鈥檛 bear to see my kid’s faces

When I tell 鈥檈m we鈥檒l have to hock their braces –

And adios 鈥� adios to those Nintendos!

 

I once had big dreams of stretch limousines

And beds made with fine satin sheets.

With Cuban cigars, big tips at the bars,

And toilets with solid gold seats

But then came the news of the bear market blues

I knew I鈥檇 run out of luck鈥�

Goodbye sweet dreams, goodbye limousines鈥�

I鈥檇 be lucky to gas up my truck

Yeah, I ain鈥檛 got no social graces

But I find myself on a first-name basis

With a whole lot of stocks

In low-ow-ow places.

Listen to Seattle鈥檚 Morning News with Dave Ross and Colleen O鈥橞rien weekday mornings from 5 鈥� 9 a.m. on 成人X站 Newsradio, 97.3 FM. Subscribe to the聽podcast here.