³ÉÈËXÕ¾

DAVE ROSS

Ross: A song explaining the rebellion against masks

Jun 29, 2020, 8:00 AM | Updated: 10:55 am

Masks...

Protesters in Vancouver, WA. (Photo by Karen Ducey/Getty Images)

(Photo by Karen Ducey/Getty Images)

Along with everything else, there seems to be a mask rebellion going on in this country, at least in certain states.

I’ve been trying to figure out why people hate masks so much, especially men. Is it because they’re unmanly? Is it because the government is ordering us to do it?

No, I think there’s a different explanation, but it’s very controversial – and so to disarm my critics, I’m going to use a commentary tool that I’ve never used before, because I don’t use it very well. It’s my ukulele, here we go:

1-2-3-4!

We can finally go out in the open
We can dance, we can drink and have fun
But before we go out
With our nose and our mouth
There is just one more thing to put on

And it’s our
Itsy bitsy teeny weeny
Very manly face bikini
That’s the order we all must obey

You hang the thing FROM EAR TO EAR
And when you look into the mirror
BOTH your ears, they stick out all the way

And forever that’s how they will stay…

And that’s why people… hate the government
Ole!

Listen to Seattle’s Morning News weekday mornings from 5 – 9 a.m. on ³ÉÈËXÕ¾ Radio, 97.3 FM. Subscribe to the podcast here.

Dave's Commentary

Dave Ross on ³ÉÈËXÕ¾ Newsradio 97.3 FM
  • to ³ÉÈËXÕ¾ Newsradio weekdays at 5am for Dave Ross on Seattle's Morning News.

Dave Ross

Image: From left, Chris Sullivan, Dave Ross and Colleen O'Brien stand together in the ³ÉÈËXÕ¾ Newsradi...

MyNorthwest Staff

Dave and Colleen’s final ‘SMN:’ ³ÉÈËXÕ¾ colleagues, politicians say their goodbyes

"Seattle's Morning News" on ³ÉÈËXÕ¾ Newsradio will soon have a new sound. On Thursday, Dave Ross and Colleen O'Brien will host their last show together after a decade of co-hosting.

7 months ago

Classical literature on bookshelves. (Photo by Richard Baker / In Pictures via Getty Images)...

Dave Ross

Dave Ross as you’ve never heard him before: ‘I like fat books and I can’t deny’

"This song, inspired by one of my first interviews when I started my talk show, which was Sir Mix-A-Lot," Dave Ross said.

7 months ago

national debt...

Dave Ross

‘Don’t cut a cent:’ Dave Ross on why the national debt never gets under control

The national debt now exceeds $36 trillion, and every president says it has to be under control. And yet, it never is.

7 months ago

voters hormone...

Dave Ross

Ross: Voters weren’t just voting for change, they were voting for a hormone

The more I read the post-election analysis, the more I’m convinced voters weren’t just voting for a change – they were voting for a hormone.

8 months ago

ross o'brien - Seattle's Morning News...

Frank Sumrall

Dave Ross, Colleen O’Brien departing after co-hosting ‘Seattle’s Morning News’ for a decade

Dave Ross and Colleen O'Brien, the co-hosts of "Seattle's Morning News" on ³ÉÈËXÕ¾ Newsradio are both leaving the show.

8 months ago

election day...

Dave Ross

Dave Ross: Election Day and Decision Day are two separate things

Tomorrow is Election Day – that’s what the calendar says. But there are two problems with the term "Election Day."

8 months ago

Ross: A song explaining the rebellion against masks