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With the first big storm of autumn, the annual battle begins of homeowner versus tree. And the weapon of choice … is the leaf blower: the ultimate tool for making your problem somebody else’s problem.

Even though we may own that tree, when its leaves fall, those leaves are trespassing, and it’s time to move them along, even if it means deafening the neighbors.

Now, I can’t get too sanctimonious on this topic because I, too, have a leaf blower, but it’s electric so, it’s far more climate-friendly. Plus, I only use it as a deterrent, so that if the neighbors blow the leaves in my direction, I can blow them right back.

It can also be used to power an attention-getting front-yard air dancer when you’re forced to sell your house because everybody hates you.

The point is, it’s much more neighborly just to use a rake. With a little planning and a small enough yard, you can be done in an hour, and it’s great exercise.

That’s why I think it’s time to re-think neighborhood zoning.

Right now, we zone residential neighborhoods according to lot size and number of occupants. This is part of the reason we’re all so angry. We should zone according to personal habits.

What matters isn’t the size of your lot, or the number of people living there, but how those people behave, right? Some of us are OK with noise, some of us like it quiet. We should zone for that.

Barking dog neighborhoods, lap-dog neighborhoods.

Unmuffled motorcycle neighborhoods, mellow bicycle neighborhoods.

A zone for people who like to feed the noisy crows; a zone for people who prefer to shoot the noisy crows.

And, yes, a zone for people who rake, and a zone for people who blow.

Problem solved.

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