Ross: A song celebrating America’s favorite false hope: the Powerball
Oct 5, 2023, 8:05 AM | Updated: 8:37 am
(Photo from Lisa Brooks)
(Photo from Lisa Brooks)
The Newsroom that dares to dream. We here at 成人X站 Newsradio are realists, we spend our working days steeped in current events, buried in news stories. We鈥檙e not perfect, but we are also not easily fooled.
We hold politicians to account, we don鈥檛 like them playing fast and loose with money, we are pragmatic, we don鈥檛 fall for impossible dreams.聽 And we know that playing the lottery is a dumb way to fight back against inflation, except when Ursula Reutin organizes one of her Powerball office pools.
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So to celebrate America’s favorite pipe dream I wrote a little song, with clips of Ursula backing me up, which you can listen to above. Here we go!
“I barely got the words out of my mouth. I said should I do an office pool? And I already had people lining up,” Ursula said.
All the crazy bureaucrats are out of control
Taxin鈥� me and spendin鈥� all the money they stole.
Rip me off for parkin鈥� and they鈥檙e raising my rent
And my health insurance jumped 900%. (Thanks Big Pharma!)
So I buy me a Powerball ticket
It鈥檚 a hell of a thrill
I buy myself a dream for a couple dollar bills
All around America they gather up the dough
Then turn around and give it to a guy I don鈥檛 know!
“It’s worth an estimated $1.192 billion to get those tickets out. We have 100% participation in the newsroom,” Ursula said.
The media will tell you the odds are too high
There鈥檚 a better chance you鈥檒l fall into a sinkhole and die
Or an asteroid could hit you and make you go splat鈥�
But who鈥檚 gonna pay a dollar for that?聽 (I鈥檓 no sucker)
I buy a Powerball ticket, maybe two maybe three.
Just a couple dollars, why they鈥檙e practically free.
Politicians gen鈥檙ally are not all that bright
But when they gave us Powerball they finally got it right.
“We have no chance of winning we have one in 290 million chance of winning. So just that alone, just having that conversation was worth the two bucks,” Ursula said.
And just as she predicted, no one won.
