³ÉÈËXÕ¾

SEATTLE NEWS ARCHIVES & FEATURES

Is it better to forgive and forget?

Nov 29, 2012, 2:20 PM | Updated: 4:41 pm

Dori weighs in on one woman’s question to the Dear Prudence advice column about whether she s...

Dori weighs in on one woman's question to the Dear Prudence advice column about whether she should forgive her sister for her affair with her ex-husband. (Photo: Jillian Raftery/MyNorthwest.com)

(Photo: Jillian Raftery/MyNorthwest.com)

It’s tough being an expert advise giver, but Dori is up to the task. Forget Dear Abby, we’ve got “Dear Dori”. And he’s weighing in on a seemingly impossible situation.

Emily Yoffe, the writer behind the advice column Dear Prudence, wrote a thoughtful response to a woman who .

The woman wrote that her husband confessed to the affair with her sister, and they both moved to a new city to start over. A short time later, her sister called to say she was pregnant and the woman’s husband divorced her, left her with a mortgage and debt, and married her sister. Five years later, the woman’s parents are asking her to forgive and forget so that they can be a family again.

“After five years, is it time for me to get over it and try to force myself to at least tolerate their company?” asked the anonymous advice-seeker.

The official Dori Monson Show advice round table was convened. But alas, they couldn’t come to any real conclusion.

“I think forgiveness, as people who talk about this for a living will say, you forgive for yourself. Not to excuse what happened, but for her own well-being”, said news anchor Maura Gallucci.

Dori is a little hesitant to forgive at all, since the man left his wife with a hefty mortgage in a new city. But he understands the parents’ “gentle” request to attempt a reconciliation.

“I cannot imagine how heart-breaking it would be, as a parent, if two of your kids despised each other so much they could never be together,” says Dori. “Because nothing is more important than family get-togethers.”

For her own sanity, however, Dori suggests that this woman try to put the situation in the past.

Producer Jake said that the woman should not forgive any members of her family because the betrayal was so widespread. Jake even suggested that the woman take revenge by seducing her ex-husband.

“I just can’t get past the idea that – I know it’s been five years and it’s important to move on,” says Jake,” but I don’t understand how her parents can ask her to be the bigger person here. Not only was she betrayed by her husband, but also her sister. So now she doesn’t even have them to fall back on after this horrible thing happened to her. Now her whole family is embracing this new child, and this husband who’s a pretty big jerk.”

The situation boils down to one question: is it always better to forgive and forget?

“It’s an impossible situation for this poor woman,” says Jake.

Dori wants you to weigh in:

Seattle News Archives & Features

Associated Press

Seattle man charged with string of burglaries at the homes of NFL and MLB stars

SEATTLE (AP) — A Seattle man was charged Friday with a string of burglaries at the homes of prominent current and former football and baseball players, marking the latest example of well-known athletes being targeted in home thefts. Earl Henderson Riley IV, 21, was charged with several counts of residential burglary in both occupied and […]

14 days ago

Associated Press

Campgrounds closed along Pacific Crest Trail in search for man wanted in daughters’ deaths

SEATTLE (AP) — Authorities have closed a wide swath of popular campgrounds and backpacking areas along the Pacific Crest Trail in Washington as they search for a former Army soldier wanted in the deaths of his three young daughters. Dozens of additional law enforcement officers from an array of agencies joined the investigation and search […]

14 days ago

In this undated photo released by the Thurston County Sheriff's Office, a cache of military weaponr...

Associated Press

2 arrested with arsenal and Nazi paraphernalia after base robbery were ex-military, prosecutors say

SEATTLE (AP) — Two men arrested in Washington state with an arsenal that included grenade launchers and body armor, along with Nazi paraphernalia, were former military members who attacked a soldier with a hammer while stealing gear from Joint Base Lewis-McChord last weekend, investigators say. Levi Austin Frakes and Charles Ethan Fields were arrested Monday […]

16 days ago

Associated Press

Authorities are searching for a Washington state father of 3 dead girls

WENATCHEE, Wash. (AP) — A Washington state father is wanted for murder after his three young daughters were reported missing and then found dead. Police on Tuesday asked the public for help in finding the father of the girls, Travis Decker, 32. He is wanted for three counts of murder and kidnapping, the Wenatchee Police […]

17 days ago

Expand Autoplay Image3 of 5 Burien car crashes through home Burien car crashes through home (photo:...

³ÉÈËXÕ¾ 7 News Staff

Driver sails through Burien homes after launching off curb, officials say

A driver crashed into two Burien homes Monday afternoon causing significant damage.

25 days ago

Associated Press

1 person was rescued and a search is underway for 3 others after a boat sinks north of Seattle

SEATTLE (AP) — One person was rescued by a good Samaritan and authorities were looking for three others after a boat took on water and sank in waters north of Seattle, the U.S. Coast Guard said Wednesday. A U.S. Coast Guard boat crew and helicopter searched for the missing alongside Everett firefighters and police, the […]

1 month ago

Is it better to forgive and forget?