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Zagat says the rules of dinner date etiquette have changed

Aug 4, 2011, 1:21 PM | Updated: Oct 10, 2012, 7:28 am

It used to be when you’d go to a restaurant, the woman would order their meal first and when it came to the bill, the man would pay. But times have changed.

Zagat has released the results of its first-ever etiquette survey along with ten new rules for eating out.

Rule #1: Women and men should be treated as equals at a restaurant, which seems too obvious. But of the thousands of diners across the country who took part in this survey, 24 percent believe that men are treated better than women at restaurants.

“They assume that the men are paying the bill and are going to give the tip, but today, with so many women working, that doesn’t really make sense,” says Tim Zagat, CEO of the Zagat Survey.

Rule #2: The person who initiates a dinner date is the one who should pay for that meal.

“If somebody is dating, and if the woman wants to invite the man she should pay the bill unless they’ve talked about it beforehand,” Zagat says.

Rule #3: When you’re ordering food, he says, forget about ladies going first. In the past, many men would insist on that as a courtesy. But according to Zagat’s survey, that’s not what most women want.

“The rule now is whoever is ready goes first, and buys time for the rest of the people who are still reading the menu,” he says.

Rule #4: Even in today’s world of being wired 24/7, most of the diners surveyed said its not OK to talk, text, tweet or email at the table.

“Seventy percent of people believe that it is rude and you don’t want to insult people who you’re having dinner with,” Zagat says.

Rule #5: When it comes to bringing your kids to a restaurant, Zagat says its fine, as long as its not a romantic restaurant where they wouldn’t be welcomed by other diners. Interestingly, more than 60 percent surveyed say restaurants should be able to ban kids.

Rule #6: Don’t overstay your welcome when a restaurant is busy.

“If there are people waiting in line the restaurant should be able to set a time limit.”

According to Zagat, “Fifty percent believe that’s a reasonable thing for a restaurant to do. But only in the situation where there are other people waiting.”

Rule #7: Honor your restaurant reservations or call if something comes up and you can’t make it.

Rule #8:Even though restaurants don’t require jackets or ties anymore, don’t dress like a slob. If you wear a jacket, it’s okay to put it over the back of your chair.

Rule #9: Not all chivalry is dead. Most women still expect men to hold the door of a restaurant open, but the men walk through first, and then hold it open.

Rule #10:The customer is always right.

Zagat says he was surprised by how many diners forget they are the customers.

“So many customers are worried about what the waiter thinks of them when they give a tip. They feel uneasy about asking for things that are quite reasonable to ask for.”

He says you should expect friendly service and good food at any restaurant. “And if the restaurant doesn’t do that, you ought to leave and never come back and tell the next ten people you see that the restaurant wasn’t very nice.”

And about that tip: Zagat says the standard tip is now 18 percent on the west coast, 19 percent on the east coast.

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Zagat says the rules of dinner date etiquette have changed