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A feud broke out last week between Washington (the state) and the other Washington (the nation鈥檚 capitol). ?!?

聽fired a preemptive strike against what Washington, DC wants to call itself if and when that odd little piece of 鈥渢axation without representation鈥� land becomes the 51^st state: 鈥淭he State of Washington, D.C.鈥�

Even the public radio station there got into the act, posting a tongue-in-cheek 聽why they think the District of Columbia is superior to the Evergreen State.

We could have avoided this mess entirely way back in the 1850s. What鈥檚 now our fine state was originally going to be called Columbia Territory, until a future Confederate helpfully suggested聽we instead honor George Washington.

All this arguing about who owns the 鈥淪tate of Washington鈥� moniker got us thinking about some of the names of other places around here that generate friction without anyone even trying to steal them away from us.聽And no, it isn鈥檛 because the names offend someone.

It鈥檚 because they get mispronounced.

滨惫补谤鈥檚

This is the quickest way to test how long someone has lived in Western Washington.聽Call it our very own . Locals know that the correct pronunciation of this seafood restaurant is 鈥淓YE-verz,鈥� with emphasis on the first syllable, and a perfect rhyme with 鈥渄ivers.鈥澛燭hose not in the know (recent arrivals, summertime tourists, weekend anchors) say 鈥淓YE-VARZ鈥� with equal emphasis on both syllables and a close rhyme with 鈥渄ive bars.鈥澛� 滨惫补谤鈥檚, incidentally, is named for real-life late restaurateur and gold-plated self-promoter Ivar Haglund.

Colville, Stevens County

This Eastern Washington town is rarely mentioned in polite conversation on the west side, but when it is, it is almost always mispronounced as 鈥淐oal-ville.鈥� The correct way to say it is 鈥淐ALL-ville,鈥� though this city-produced 聽appears to pronounce it 产辞迟丑听ways.聽Colville was originally a fort, and is named for Andrew Colvile (with one 鈥渓鈥�), a London muckety-muck of the Hudson鈥檚 Bay Company.聽This writer often calls local radio and TV stations (anonymously, of course) to offer helpful advice when Colville is mispronounced.

Bangor (naval base), Kitsap County

A brilliant ad agency described in 聽how the version of this city in Maine is pronounced BAYN-GOR, with equal emphasis on both syllables. Over in Kitsap County where the Navy Trident subs are based, it鈥檚 pronounced 鈥渂anger鈥� (rhymes with hanger).

Oso, Snohomish County

The site of the deadly 2014 mudslide alongside the Stillaguamish River and 聽is rarely, if ever, mispronounced by locals; everyone knows it鈥檚 pronounced 鈥淥H-so鈥� (Spanish for 鈥渂ear鈥�).聽 However, President Obama, while speaking with the media after visiting families affected by the tragedy, had the misfortune to pronounce it 鈥淎H-so鈥� multiple times during an event at the local firehouse.

Des Moines, King County

This is a tough one, and the debate over how to say the name of this southwest King County city pops up in the media every few decades.聽A published history of the city (and the current city clerk) insist that the 鈥渟鈥� is silent (like the local city鈥檚 namesake, Des Moines, Iowa). Tell that to the man who recorded the greeting for the voicemail system at City Hall.聽He pronounces it with the 鈥渟鈥� (actually, it鈥檚 more like a 鈥渮鈥�) 鈥� 鈥渄uh MOINZ.鈥�

Des Moines City Clerk Bonnie Wilkins is a 鈥渟ilent s鈥� person, but she鈥檚 philosophical about the differences, and tolerant of either pronunciation. She says the city council even passed some kind of resolution about the pronunciation many years ago, though she鈥檚 a little fuzzy on the specifics.

鈥淚t’s a really heated debate, because [some] people who live here say it’s 鈥渄uh-MOINZ鈥� and then [some] people who live here say it’s 鈥渄uh-MOIN,鈥� Wilkins said. 鈥淥ur [history] book says 鈥渄uh MOIN,鈥� so it doesn’t really matter. We’re not out to make people do it the right way.鈥�

聽authored by late WSU Professor Hugh Rundell is something of a bible for broadcasters. Rundell goes with 鈥渄uh MOINZ.鈥澛燭he French 鈥渄e moines鈥� means 鈥渙f the monks,鈥� but Des Moines, Iowa was originally a Native American name (with no relation to French monks) that somehow became garbled.

Alki, Seattle

For that beach in West Seattle, do you say 鈥淎L-KEYE鈥� (equal emphasis on both syllables) or 鈥淎L-kee鈥� (emphasis on first syllable)?聽 If usage is any indication, AL-KEYE is the current correct pronunciation, or current accepted pronunciation.聽It was the place where settlers who would go on to create what became Seattle landed in 1851. They called it 鈥淣ew York,鈥� since they aspired to build a metropolis here.聽A wiseguy appended 鈥淎lki,鈥� 聽jargon word for 鈥渆ventually鈥� or 鈥渂ye and bye.鈥�

The debate over Alki has also flared up on different occasions over the years (most recently in the late 1950s), with one writer (of a letter to the editor) citing great local historian and author Edmond S. Meany鈥檚 1908 pamphlet about Indian names as definitive proof that the correct pronunciation is 鈥淎lky.”

鈥淎LKI 鈥� accent on the first syllable, in which the vowel is short; the second vowel is also short, as if it were spelled 鈥楢lky.鈥欌��

This may be a case where usage has ultimately triumphed, and AL-KEYE is here to stay. 聽Bye and bye?

Seattle

There鈥檚 no debate about how to say the name of the state鈥檚 biggest city these days (though this writer鈥檚 ancestors in Europe in the 1940s assumed it was pronounced 鈥淪EE-dull鈥�). But, according to place name expert James Phillips, the city鈥檚 Native American namesake had many different spellings and pronunciations of his name in the 19^th century, including See-alt, See-ualt, See-yat, Sealth and Se-at-tlh.

State of Washington

It wasn鈥檛 too many years ago that a lot of people in the Evergreen State pronounced our state鈥檚 name something like 鈥淲arshington鈥� or 鈥淲orshington.鈥澛燭hese people likely moved here from other parts of the country during the booming economy of World War II, when defense plants attracted tens of thousands of war workers from, among other places, the Midwest and the South.聽This pronunciation seems to have almost completely disappeared, but it was common as recently as the 1980s.

As early as October 1952, late UW Professor Carroll E. Reed wrote:

鈥淎 number of speakers pronounce words like 鈥榳ash鈥� and 鈥榃ashington鈥� with an 鈥榬-colored鈥� vowel, so that extreme examples sound like 鈥榳orsh鈥� and 鈥榃orshington.鈥� Although regional distribution does not give the whole picture here, most of the speakers thus involved were from Spokane, King and Clarke (sic) counties, that is, in the vicinity of the largest cities. Besides 鈥榳orsh鈥� there is, of course, another type of pronunciation that is found wherever Southern mountaineers have settled, namely, 鈥榳oish.鈥欌��

State of Warshington?

I say let the nation鈥檚 capitol become the 鈥淪tate of Washington, DC鈥� or 鈥淲ashington, DC State鈥� or whatever they want to be called. 聽We鈥檒l just go back to being called something we can all agree on: good old Warshington state!

“Say WAR?!?”